The good thing about being an over-achiever is that I have the propensity to do things well. This includes being sick. If I'm going to get sick, I'm going to make sure that I get sick on the day that I have to move to Jerusalem. This is because I'm all about doing things right. When I get sick, I have to do it like it's my full-time job. It just so happens that I couldn't have picked a better place to make frequent runs to the bathroom to throw up everything remotely liquid in my bloodstream.
I am sitting in a room with a cornucopia of jetlagged American Jews who are impatiently fighting the several-hour registration process for summer classes at Hebrew University. As I wait for my name to be called so that I can move to the next room and write my name blood as a promise to circumcise all of my sons, if not name the first one Morty, I am more tempted believe that the name "Montezuma" might be possibly be more appropos.
I am sitting in air-conditioning for the first time in two months. A bad movie is playing for all of us in the room. It happens to be in Hebrew. Go figure.
I took some Pepto Bismal tablets. I think it's time for me to throw up again.
Just like my over-achieving, my incredible sense of irony never fails to amaze me.
It's going to be a long time until I eat falafel for breakfast again.