Wednesday, April 30, 2008

As of Late

The past week has inspired me with at least 100 new blog posts. I have even started a few, then stopped. Then started again. And again, more stoppage. Let's just say that my attention span has been in a bit of a deficit as of late.

For what it is worth, I had an amazing time in Miami last weekend with Slide. Also for what it is worth, it appears that Slide and I may be officially growing up. For the first time in 10 years, I was officially introduced to the significant female person in Slide's life. For me, this was a tremendous honor. Slide's significant lady friend is a lovely young woman with a very old soul. I felt a number of very positive things about her, and I could see the good chemistry that drew Slide to her and vice-versa. This made me very happy. Very happy, indeed.

Despite having a significant female person in his life, Slide and I still spent great deal of necessary, quality time together. We mostly spent it lounging either in the sun or in the shade. Sometimes with a drink in hand, sometimes only with juice. Sometimes our lounging lasted until the birds woke up. As one can imagine, this ended up being a very intense, yet thoroughly cleansing couple of days for both of us. At one point, it went a little something like this:

Me: " know, I really think I may be at my best on a camel somewhere...with $20 dollars in my pocket...and no idea where I am sleeping for the night..."

Slide: "Are you giving up on the dream or living it, Namaste?"

Me: "Living it. Hard."

Slide: "Is it lonely?"

Me: "Exceptionally. I can honestly say that I may not be willing to get off the camel any time soon, but I am finally ready to share the view, and even what's in my pocket..."

Slide: "That's huge."

Me: "Dude, I know..."

We talked about the rabbi. Yes, we talked at length about the rabbi. We rawly constructed and de-constructed the way we love, the way we don't love, and all of the reasons in between...

Slide: "I compare all of my women to you."

Me: "I know. Me too."

We decided that sometimes "love just ain't enough". We also decided that we believe in serendipity. We decided that a lot of this...this loving and not loving is about fear. And fear is the source of ego. We decided that it is possible to love without ego, without fear. It is possible just to do the best you can. It is possible to love.

I came home sleep deprived, but with a tan. I came home with a light heart. I came home feeling what I have felt all along. I came home feeling loved. At the very least, I came home not fearing most what is fundamentally my birthright: Love. (I also came home calling where I live "home".)

I also came home to a message on my voice mail.

It was the rabbi.



VJ said...

It's always good to have good friends. And knowing that the view from the camel, while pleasant, is not quite transferable to the New World context. And of course this? "I also came home calling where I live "home", is only possible because it's now Spring, right? Fill us in on the other thoughts when you can. Cheers & Good Luck! 'VJ

Laura said...

Anyone who says he or she knows what's going to happen next is ... wrong. As a master of going with the flow, I'm sure you're ready. Glad you got to relax...