Wednesday, March 25, 2009

When Hell Freezes Over

"One day, I'll manage to break you down, baby. One day, you'll realize what a great opportunity you have with me, and you'll kick yourself for wasting all of this time, baby..." says my neighbor on the first floor.

Apparently calling me "baby" and attempting to remind me about his prowess in all things that I may (or may not) find desirable is his way of reaching my...pants? Or not.

"You seem to always know what I'm thinking," he said the other day.

"Really," I replied dryly.

"Like I bet you know what I am thinking right now," he said.

"Actually, yes. I think I have some idea. And in response, I will tell you that there's NO CHANCE IN HELL."

I consider him warned. How about you guys?



Kathryn said...

Warned, fair and square!

hannahjustbreathe said...

Warned, yes. But, aware of said warning? Willing to accept said warning? That's another beast unto itself. Good luck!!

VJ said...

This is a popular misconception. Hell freezes over all the damn time. David Letterman gets married after 'dating' for only 23 years (to Regina Lasko). After an unrequited quest of more than 600 years for the near mythical 'Northwest passage' though the Arctic, it'll now be melted enough for regular ship travel in about 10 years or so. We managed to elect an almost unknown black man to the Presidency. Smart, competent, cool & collected to be certain, but few people would have been able to recognize him 8 years ago. So with time? Almost anything might be possible.

This then is another argument for not staying in any one place too long! But otherwise? SSDD!

Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'

Anonymous said...

I'd call that reasonable warning. That may not stop God's Gift To Absolutely No One from trying it on with you again, but I think your intentions are clear.

Indeed, it seems it would be hard to make things clearer without resorting to some comment along the lines of "call me 'baby' again and they'll be finding pieces of you across seventeen states".